Why I LOVE being an Australian :)

47 Ways To Tell That You’re Australian. #12 Is So Accurate It Hurts.


1. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

2. You think it’s normal to have a leader called Julia.

3. You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

4. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son’s pencil case when he first attends school.

5. You’re liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans “rooting” for something.

6. You understand that the phrase ‘a group of women wearing black thongs”s refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

7. You pronounce Melbourne as ‘Mel-bn’.

8. You pronounce Penrith as ‘Pen-riff’.

9. You believe the ‘l’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional.

10. You can translate: ‘Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.’

11. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

12. You call your best friend ‘a total bastard’ but someone you really, truly despise is just ‘a bit of a bastard’.

13. You think ‘Woolloomooloo’ is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

14. You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

15. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.

16. You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’ can’t be called ‘Woy’.

17. You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You’ve also squeezed it through Vitawheats to make little Vegemite worms.

18. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

19. Hamburger with Beetroot? Of course!

20. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of The Angels song ‘Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again’.

21. You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

22. You wear ugg boots outside the house.

23. You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

24. You believe that the more you shorten someones name the more you like them.

25. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

26. You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, while ‘scuse me’ is always polite.

27. You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

28. You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.

29. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

30. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ‘Anzac cookies’.

31. You still think of Kylie as ‘that girl off Neighbours’.

32. You believe the phrase ‘smart casual’ refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

33. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

34. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

35. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in O: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc.

36. You know that there is a universal place called “woop woop” located in the middle of nowhere…no matter where you actually are.

37. You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.

38. You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.

39. You’ve only ever used the words – tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet to mean ‘good.’

40. And then you place ‘bloody’ in front of it when you REALLY mean it.

41. You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.

42. You say ‘no worries’ quite often, whether you realise it or not.

43. You’ve drank your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam.

44. You own a Bond’s chesty. In several different colours.

45. You’ve ordered a steak the size of your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL.

46. You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, but not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.

47. You know that some people pronounce Australia like “Strayla” and that’s ok.

Taken directly and most unashamedly from this post


“Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, OY, OY, OY!” ๐Ÿ˜‰

37 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Snail of Happiness
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 07:38:59

    I got lost at number one!


  2. thinkingcowgirl
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 07:50:36

    Hello Fran!

    Just thought I’d pop in to say hello. I’m gearing up to enter blogworld again…it’s been sooo long ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you’re well and thriving. We’ve got australian friends visiting at the moment, (haven’t seen them since the 1990’s) maybe I should run this by them and see if they agree. Must look at another post to see what you’ve been up to…


    • narf77
      Apr 20, 2014 @ 08:18:41

      Run it by them and watch them laugh…ask them the meaning of the Angels song ๐Ÿ˜‰ “NO WAY…” ๐Ÿ˜‰ They will know what I am talking about ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad to see you back and raring to go along with spring. Just starting to get nice and crisp and cold here and the rose hips are a most glorious red on the bushes. Looks like we are going to have a cold one this year, can’t wait ๐Ÿ™‚


  3. teawithhazel
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 07:55:43

    my cringe meter is maxing out at some of these..dare i say i really don’t like the lazy ‘l’ in australia thing..it grates on me sumfin terrible.. ๐Ÿ™‚


    • narf77
      Apr 20, 2014 @ 08:19:57

      Lol ๐Ÿ˜‰ “Or-Stray-lee-uh” that’s how it’s supposed to be pronounced. Just call me narf Higgins and be done with it ๐Ÿ˜‰


  4. thecontentedcrafter
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 08:11:51

    Except for the last 5, the ‘Fosters’ one, the lazy l and #27 it could fit Neww Zillan too! ๐Ÿ™‚ [Sorry]


    • narf77
      Apr 20, 2014 @ 08:22:12

      “wut a yoo tukin abut Puleen?” ๐Ÿ˜‰ I thought that Australia was the plug hole for New Zealand? The place that everyone comes to after they visit the gorgeousness that is NZ and says “why didn’t we just go to Bali?!” ๐Ÿ˜‰


      • thecontentedcrafter
        Apr 20, 2014 @ 13:51:51

        Have another wine and/or beer darlin’!! Melbourne is the place all the really clever kiwis go, Sydney is the place where all the arty kiwis go and Queensland is where the unemployed head off to ๐Ÿ™‚

        Now, if you want top pronounce my name like a kiwi you have to say poor-leeeen – but please don’t, as it drives me bonkers! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • narf77
        Apr 20, 2014 @ 15:46:56

        I promise not to mispronounce your name aside from my natural Aussie (blow fly sounding) drawl. Going by the natural progression of where Kiwi’s see as the most desirable when they arrive on our fair (hot) shores, Tassie must be where they go to expire! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • thecontentedcrafter
        Apr 20, 2014 @ 18:24:29

        Are you trying to tell me it is still hot? I just endured a week of freezing cold, full out wintery sleet…. my conservatory roof [stupid things – I’d pull it down if I could!] leaked like a sieve and ruined my white cotton floor rug!! Today however has been hot and sunny again – just to keep us on our toes ๐Ÿ™‚

        Yes, Tassie for expiring, or holidaying too I think – I know a number of folk who have visited there and love it!

  5. jmgoyder
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 12:54:49

    Very accurate!


  6. Robbie
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 14:14:38

    lol…that was an interesting read, but #6 I could relate to, I am from the USA and I still don’ t understand the “thong” thing they were what we wore when we were kids on our feet!


    • narf77
      Apr 20, 2014 @ 15:44:51

      They were?! Excellent! I always thought that we Aussies coined that phrase but if you remember it then “thongs” for orifices other than toes are a latter day invention and we, the people born last century (which includes ALL of my children ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) can rebel against the misuse of the vernacular! ๐Ÿ™‚


  7. quarteracrelifestyle
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 15:13:40

    That was very good lol.


    • narf77
      Apr 20, 2014 @ 15:49:46

      I thought so ๐Ÿ˜‰ It would confuse a lot of people who weren’t conversant in “Australese” to say the least, especially The Angels reference (which is too rude to put here for most of my dear constant readers ๐Ÿ˜‰ )


  8. Chica Andaluza
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 17:28:54

    scuse me! Can’t say I understood them all, but a lot and they made me laugh! Happy Easter to all at Serendipity Farm ๐Ÿ™‚


  9. brymnsons
    Apr 20, 2014 @ 18:51:17

    I can remember singing THOSE lyrics very loudly with my fist in the air…. probably still would too lol


  10. Littlesundog
    Apr 21, 2014 @ 03:06:33

    I read that twice… I’m not much of an Aussie, but I’ll tell you what; I love you Aussies! You are a wonderful and hilarious, carefree and life loving people! Who couldn’t love that??


    • narf77
      Apr 23, 2014 @ 04:03:39

      Glad you liked it Lori, I just wanted to share it as that’s really what we are, down to earth, no nonsense and we tend to love life ๐Ÿ™‚


  11. gardeningkiwi
    Apr 21, 2014 @ 05:17:38

    Thanks Fran for the heads up – I’m jumping across the ditch twice in the next month and it is good to have a clear understanding of what to expect! Although I am a little bit freaked out about your killer wildlife!
    Cheers Sarah : o )


    • narf77
      Apr 23, 2014 @ 04:04:39

      Our wildlife only kills people from the Northern hemisphere, you are safe ;). Hope you have a great time over here and it isn’t constantly raining and too cold for you ;).


  12. Hannah (BitterSweet)
    Apr 21, 2014 @ 11:03:04

    Ha! I’ve always wanted to visit, but now even more so! You crazy Aussies are so funny, clever, and endearing…


  13. MinHo
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 00:16:54



  14. Yelena
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 06:59:41

    One day I would love to visit Australia. Perhaps, when my kids are a little older-)


    • narf77
      Apr 23, 2014 @ 04:17:00

      It’s certainly another world down here Yelana. Most people arrive thinking it is quite small but it’s big, it’s very different to anyplace else and it’s like having an adventure. Most Americans that come love the place :). We love it to so I guess that’s a pretty good review ๐Ÿ˜‰


  15. Linne
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 13:10:35

    Well, thanks to Nevil Shute and a few others, I guess I end up over half Aussie! LOL
    Had to go listen to The Angels after that ref; cute band! And now I get what you were talking about.
    Now, up here we think that Peter Jackson, et al, are really Canucks, and if they misbehaved we ‘might’ have them revert to Kiwi status, but in the case of Mr Jackson, not likely.
    If you were from Ontario, you would say your capital city was ‘Tronna’, so not too different here, either. Victoria and Vancouver are now apparently ‘Vic’ and ‘Van’, too.
    Thanks to my first mother in law, I love Marmite and Vegemite! Haven’t seen it for some time, though; I like to get it when I’m on the coast.
    Thongs; they were always footwear to me, too. Now I don’t think about them . . .
    We have large, weird things here, too; a giant Easter Egg painted in the Ukrainian Pysanky style, a giant sausage, the world’s largest bee, a cowboy, OK, I just looked them up and there are too many to list (and this is just Alberta!) if you don’t believe me (or just want to know) check out this link:
    http://www.roadsideattractions.ca/alberta.htm I don’t know what’s up with ‘Korean totem poles’, so don’t ask me . . .
    You are wrong on #23; all important discoveries were made in Canada, sold to the Yanks for a pittance, then marketed back to us. and we liked it that way (well, some of us) ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I’m used to beetroot with burgers, salads, etc., but only in Vic or Van ๐Ÿ™‚ Here it comes in borscht. Go figure . . .
    BBQs are the same everywhere, apparently. In Scotland, though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17Z5J7tRVEU
    I gather that Tim Tams are now available here in three flavours; I’ll have to look for them . . .
    I look forward to trying roo meat one day; game is always best, in my NSHO.
    This is beef country and you won’t see a good steak here for anywhere near that price . . . I used to buy Aussie lamb chops (shoulder, not loin) on the coast, but can’t find them here, either.
    Well, that was fun! Bloody sick post, ‘7’! lol ~ Linne


    • narf77
      Apr 23, 2014 @ 04:20:08

      Glad you liked it ma’am, so did I and I reckon you Canadians are actually Aussies that buggered off over the channel as it was too bloody hot here…just a theory of mine ๐Ÿ˜‰ LOVE your attractions and another reason I am suspicious that you guys are really Aussies in fur ๐Ÿ˜‰


  16. teddyandtottie
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 13:34:35

    Funny Narf! I could relate to way too many of those!
    I wonder if I could impose and get you to e-mail me – if you go to my blog and go to CONTACT at the very top of the page and put in your details. No problems at all if you’d rather not – but I have a proposal – no not that kind! – you’re safe Steve – just wanted to run it past you. Cheers Dani


    • narf77
      Apr 23, 2014 @ 04:22:28

      Piquing my interest ma’am and I am sick with a head cold so you certainly have to work hard to “pique” me at all these days. Ok, I will brave technology and will mail you. Sorry I took so long to answer this post as we have been AWOL for 2 days thanks to Steve cleverly deciding to upgrade to Windows 8 and then 8.1 and it taking 2 bloody days to do it! What do you expect when you have DODO as your service provider eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰


  17. Born To Organize
    Apr 23, 2014 @ 13:49:27

    I’ve learned so much today. Loved your post, and all the comments that followed. Fun!


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