No more Christmas stress

Hi All

That will teach me! I just finished off my last blog post and actually terrified myself. I read what I had just typed and realised that in 6 weeks we will have had to produce some sort of food that exceeds our daughters expectations and they expect for the queen! Christmas lunch is going to be spent here at our place. The girls want to spend Christmas night at their place watching old Jimmy Stewart movies and being nostalgic.

 Now that we are here on our own, it’s nice to start thinking that we can start our own Christmas traditions. It’s tempting to say that our new Christmas traditions are to sit around in our underpants (it does get hot here…) out on the deck, drinking whatever we can lay our hands on so long as it’s cool and eating a packet of crisps…we might even get roast dinner flavoured crisps! But there is a part of me that I must have passed on to my girls that wants something memorable and nostalgic.
Here is what most dads do at Christmas…they are allowed to put up the lights. It’s a token thing. It’s like a man’s part in his wedding. Negligible…”just turn up…make sure you turn up!”…

It’s all that American TV crap that we watched as kids, but apart from all of the commercialism, credit debt and stress that comes from Christmas. We really do need to remember that aside from it being Jesus’ birthday it’s when we can all get together and share with the people that we love. Sometimes being with people that you love is hard, because whenever a large group of people that you love get together, there are usually a couple of them that don’t love each other as much as they should for whatever reason and Christmas can be a right royal family punch up if people are unable to remember their manners. The problem is that manners go out the window when you have 2 or more surly and grumpy people forced to interact with people that they would rather bury getting more and more inebriated and suddenly it’s like a powder keg ready to explode. To those of you feeling alone on Christmas day…thank the living lord that you are on your own, able to do what you want and don’t have to physically separate members of your family hell bent on killing each other. There is nothing like a good old “Family Blue” to make you realise just how lovely a semi naked packet of crisps and a nice cold beer spent alone on the deck can feel.
Here are some crisps that are made for Steve and me! It will satisfy my need to do sweet bugger all, and his need to have a turkey dinner. A win-win situation for all…

Family Blues aside, this Christmas I think that we are going to forget the stress. Remember, that Stress is…

And none of us want to end up like this on Boxing day….

I hate stress and have had enough of it over the last year or so and would like a little bit of time between the last lot and any future stress please. I think that we should reject the media version of “Christmas”. It’s over the top totally unattainable and a big fat waste of our hard earned (or in most cases future earned) money. I don’t think that anyone gets it that if we all turned our backs on consumerist Christmas and just made it a simple celebration of some good food, not over the top, just lovely things that you all want to eat, a few well-chosen gifts that are bought for the person rather than for how expensive they are or what EVERYONE is getting this Christmas, and time spent together having actual fun, rather than trying to attain a level of Christmas perfection that the media would have us believe that we have to achieve, we would all be happier, healthier, wealthier and wiser come January and the banks would have a miserable New Year as no-one would have maxed out their credit cards and they wouldn’t be able to take your home as collateral. We are well educated people…why on earth do we let “everyone else” (read “the media” for “everyone else”) make up our minds what we need to be doing to make us happy? Do you think that what someone else tells you is going to be right for you? That Dahhhhling green and red and white Christmas decoration theme that Vogue magazine is toting for this year’s Christmas celebrations from David Jones and Myers (due to a very nice and most lucrative deal struck…) is NOT going to go with your décor is it? So why are you trying to emulate it? What started us believing that magazines and television know all? It was an insidious slide of public perception and it’s the same mentality that is going to turn everyone into mindless vacuous followers (Americans in other words…).

I don’t care what colours are in fashion. I don’t care because I will be putting up some decorations that I have had forever. I don’t care that someone out there is going to have to wait 0.52 seconds until some poor sucker comes along till they get their next Mercedes for their 14 year old son because I refuse to play the media game. You can pitch your advertising as much as you like. I am going to ignore you. I CHOOSE to ignore you and have a happy Christmas doing whatever I want to do. If I want to have a box of cereal for Christmas I will. If I want to fire up the bbq and have plain old sausages and some coleslaw I will. Whatever I choose to do on Christmas day, will be mine and my family’s choice and will have nothing to do with consumerism and everything to do with what we want to do. Start your own revolution of change against established media spending at this time of year. How much nicer will it feel to be debt free come January and you know what? No-one ever remembers what colour décor you had on Christmas day. It’s like getting married and spending a zillion dollars on your wedding. After about 3 years (if you last that long…) it all blends into some sort of hazy montage of “wedding” and you really can’t remember much about it (especially if you drank anything at all). Why spend your life paying off something that no-one, let alone you, can remember? At the very least…if you are going to allow yourself to get caught up in the hype and spend your next 6 months pay in advance, make it worth it! Have some fireworks…get arrested…tip a bucket of paint over that pair of fighting relatives and at least have an occasion to actually remember!

The following should be compulsory at Christmas Time…

The queen’s speech…

Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” and its various guises in popular movies and television like…

Scrooged with Bill Murray… “It’s a toaster….BANG” gotta love that fairy and her methods of persuasion.

Blackadder’s Christmas edition…as a little aside…isn’t it funny how as the blackadders got cleverer and more witty, the Baldricks got stupider?

And even Gremlins!

And apparently huge and most terrifying Santa needs you to give him coke…LOTS OF COKE…I am somewhat scared of this Santa.  He appears to be a massive corporate Santa looking down on his tiny minions stuffing their fridge with profits to feed his ever expanding girth…is this what started off the media hype about Christmas? Who knows…just don’t turn your back on massive Santa…keep smiling, walking backwards VERY slowly and when those cold hard eyes turn away from you RUN LIKE HECK!…


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Pinky
    Nov 13, 2011 @ 09:42:29

    Ho! Ho! Ho! I’m loving your idea of sitting around in underpants Fronkii. I wonder if Sabrina and Andy would mind too much if Jason, Stewart and I did this for Christmas? We could start our own Vogue trend! Pinky (literally) for Christmas. I’ve always wanted to go off and help out for Christmas lunch at the Salvos tent. I think i’d get lots of Chrissy spirit doing that.


    • narf77
      Nov 13, 2011 @ 13:02:54

      We did it once…the problem is that over here (don’t know if its the same there) the “homeless people” that turn up tend to be people working the system and you feel like you are somewhat cheated. We cooked for the Salvo’s Christmas about 3 years ago and it turned out that it was literally for the Salvo’s and very few homeless people were going to be there. We wanted to help people that were down and out. I often think of getting a little van and making soup and lovely bread for the homeless people living in the park in the middle of winter but no doubt council would put the kybosh on that with some regulations about food safety (as if eating out of skips is healthy eh?)….Underpants RULE by the way. So does nudity, but I don’t think that our neighbours are ready for that quite yet…they have only just gotten used to us playing Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix and us singing at the top of our lungs…best let them get used to that before we spring the nude Pimblett’s on them eh?


  2. Mum.
    Nov 13, 2011 @ 13:00:09

    What a great idea about Christmas Pen.Do it, you have sure deserved it after a traumatic year or two. I can see you too, enjoying the peace & relaxation on the deck.Really, Christmas has been commercialised to buggery, hasn’t it, with everyone trying to outdo the other with expensive gifts & all the trimmings. Who are they tring to please eh, when it was a little child originally born in a humble stable? To have a quiet Christmas I’m sure will be on many peoples minds & in their wishes. A cheerful Merry Christmas to all & sundry can go a long way.It has really gotten out of hand, so spend Christmas just as you wish, & enjoy it all. I look forward to a chat too over the phone, on the day.


  3. Mum.
    Nov 13, 2011 @ 14:40:40

    Hows about a sarong?


    • narf77
      Nov 13, 2011 @ 15:26:11

      Nope…naked as the day we were born! Frank and Adrian are just going to have to cover their eyes and Gladdy has already told us that she would join us nude so we don’t have to worry about her! :o)


  4. Mum.
    Nov 13, 2011 @ 15:30:33

    I want a PHOTO!


  5. Kym
    Nov 13, 2011 @ 19:39:06

    The only trouble with going naked at our age, and I do enjoy it in summer,but rarely – horrified children don’t help, is that your boobs hang down to your waist. Well mine do,and it can be quite hot under there! You need to get Steve on to auto cad and design something that will hold up said droopy boobs and allow the air to cool under them. Make a fortune eh. Bruce and I have been very busy in the garden today. The fruit trees, roses, passionfruit vine and grape vine are all blood and boned ( with added potash yay) so will be looking for results soon I hope. I think our last lot of mulch was not as good as usual as we have had lots of weeds and even mushrooms. Will get some more mulch next week and hopefully it will be a better lot. I’m a bit knackered now so we are sitting on our his n hers seat out the front of our house. I have a lovely cold champers and Bruce a beer. So cheers from us, I hope you have a great week 🙂


    • narf77
      Nov 13, 2011 @ 21:02:06

      Thats what coat hangers are for :o) Well done for all the work that you have done today in the garden! You make me feel like I should be out in mine. We baked bread today and gave some to our neighbour. I am just about to head off for the evening with a cuppa and a desire to find some Egyptian sweet recipes that I saw on Food Safari. I might even post one of them. Have a great week and your fruit trees will soon be smiling


  6. athursdayschild has a long way to go and much to be thankful for.
    Apr 12, 2013 @ 08:07:19

    Chris and I made a vow not to give each other presents years ago. Christmas totally stresses me, but now we have a grandchild. This year he didn’t have a clue, but next year things will change. We also put our Christmas tree up, usually on Christmas Eve, like on It’s a Wonderful Life.


    • narf77
      Apr 12, 2013 @ 17:02:18

      When its just adults, Christmas loses a lot of its specialness (is that a word?!). I think tradition brings it back. We make our own Christmas trees, we make decorations etc. we bake special things that we want to eat and we try to take the commercialisation out of it. We don’t end up with a debt as long as our arm and we have a great time. What more could you want? 🙂 Your grandson is going to inject a whole LOT of excitement back into Christmas 🙂


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