Secrets of the body beautiful…

Hi All,
Where we live is 40km away from the closest gym. Losing weight is good for you. It makes you healthier, less likely to get certain cancers, your bones have less stress and strain but when you get to a certain age (women especially) your muscles don’t appreciate losing weight and just start to hang there looking altogether unattractive! My sister, her partner and my son all belong to their local gym. I used to be a member of that very same gym and used the facilities daily. I can no longer go to a gym on a regular basis and funds are not that forthcoming so I have found a new way to replicate, indeed outdo any gym around! It’s 2 secret methods and I am only sharing these methods with you because you are forbidden from revealing them to anyone else under pain of death ok? Here they are…
1. A very special aerobic training method that gives you the most amazing workout for free. You will bend, you will run, you will walk, you will crunch, squat, forget spinning guys, and this is a serious workout that will leave you feeling like you have done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. Its name is “walking with Earl” and I use this workout method twice a day.
2. The first method addresses my aerobic capacity. I needed something to address my anaerobic capacity as well. How to do this on the cheap, and get the best workout possible? Both Steve and I have done a fair bit of weight training in our time (hard to believe when you look at me, sad, but true) and know what we are doing when it comes to dumbbells, barbells, training machines etc. I discovered an amazing system only yesterday that for the princely sum of $2, will allow me to regain my previously lost muscle. I can only explain this method using a photograph. Remember…sworn to secrecy…

No doubt you will all be amazed at my results using these very special methods. I might even write a book about them! Remember you lot SWORN TO SECRECY!

We spent the morning liberating a Zelkova serrate and chopping down a lot of shrubs and trees in the wrong place. Steve thought at one stage that he was chopping down some extension growth from a small peppermint tree and it turned out to be a very tall, quite lovely grevillea that I had never seen before…oh well, you win some you lose some… we cleared out the area of overgrown shrubs, dead rubbish and the biggest pile of dead dodder that I had ever seen. It had killed a quite large tree and the tree had fallen into the Zelkova and that is why it wasn’t in a very good shape. We finished up and had that really great feeling of having done some ‘real’ work. There is nothing like wrestling trees, shrubs, dangling sideways from rock walls trying to remove weeds and vegetation to make you feel alive. Steve and I finished up, went to collect the eggs and sat on a chopping block each just feeling good to be alive. We talked about how great it will be to have some time off from our studies. How we can get stuck into the garden and really make a difference to this place. We are going to build a pizza oven over the summer and you will get to see the results when we do. We don’t want to build one of those little clay jobbies, we want a proper brick built bread oven that we can cook in when it’s hot outside. We are also working out a way to generate hot water (without blowing up Sidmouth…there is enough hot air circulating around Sidmouth now without adding to it! :o). We have so many plans for this place. So many things to do and so much to accomplish. One day we will look back on all of this work fondly, but for now it’s just “ALL THAT WORK”!!! You should see the pile of debris that we have to burn when it dries out. It’s EVERYWHERE! Our neighbour, who is a naturally hardworking, pragmatic and somewhat suspicious man (much like Victor Meldrew from the television series “One foot in the grave”) thinks that we are ‘up to something’. I am sure that he thinks that we are ‘up to something’ in our glasshouse and now that we have la blanched it to minimise the sun (and you can’t see into it) I am even more sure that he thinks that we are cultivating illicit substances. Little does he know that if we WANTED to get illicit substances, we would just head on over to Beauty Point where we were walking this morning and pick ourselves a bushel of Opium poppies that are just growing wild on the roadside… We have tried our hardest to allay our neighbour’s fears. We have given them eggs, we have smiled nicely, we have waved, and we have done the ‘polite chit chat’ thing that ‘normal’ people do. I still get the feeling that he doesn’t trust us as far as he can fling us. He did eat the eggs though and apparently would like more as we got the cartons back on the gate. If you EVER get to read this Frank, sorry about EVERYTHING :o)

It’s getting later, I am hungry (my new diet has me thinking about food a lot more than I used to) and I want to eat so I think that I will make this post a little smaller than usual. We are off to the big city tomorrow to see our sensei and to submit some work to him. We are under no misapprehensions that we have lots of corrections, but for now we are blissfully ignorant of tomorrows torture and after we have our meeting we have to whipper snip the grass at our house in town as its apparently threatening to grow taller than my youngest daughter Bethany and Qi, who is somewhat vertically challenged at the best of times is bringing back monkeys from the dense undergrowth…time to do some work! We have a fair bit of work to do in town as well. We used to have a lovely garden there. A pretty oasis with lots of gorgeous pots, a nice Japanese theme going out the back but the girls don’t share our enthusiasm about horticulture and so we need to redesign our town house to suit them. Guess what Nick; we might need all those mass plantings of cordylines and phormiums yet! See you tomorrow :o) …



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. athursdayschild has a long way to go and much to be thankful for.
    Apr 05, 2013 @ 01:42:03

    I joined a gym during my single period. It was more just to get out of the house. I didn’t really see much difference. One of those impulse buys was our own gym set, which we just move from room to room and never use. Maybe it will be my May resolution. I have found that rock work does the trick, plus I see home improvement from it – okay, that can be a blog entry as well.


    • narf77
      Apr 05, 2013 @ 04:05:45

      Darned right it can 🙂 My whole life is a blog entry ;). I had a home gym for a while when I was with my ex and used it religeously. I think if you want to body build, it costs you a lot in supplements. Steve and I spent a lot of money way back and as I wasn’t eating properly in the first place it was worthless to me because I simply wasn’t eating enough protein to build muscle and spent all my efforts wasting my muscles due to lack of food. I think, like with anything, a bit of weight training is great and gives you tone and definition. I had great biceps and abs for a bit BUT if you don’t keep it up you end up looking like Govener Arnold and that is just plain SAD! 😉


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